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Am I Enough?
By
Mark Ivar Myhre
That used to be my unspoken question - "Am I enough?"
I say 'unspoken' because I didn't dare come out and ask
myself. Because the answer was an obvious "NO!"
Here's why it's obvious: It's a trick question. See,
it's impossible to not be enough. That's a state of
being which never has nor never will exist. No one is
not enough.
And yet, almost everyone feels like they're not
enough.
It's always a lie to tell yourself you're not enough. So
why do it; and why believe the lie?
'Enough-ness' is a function of your spirit. Your spirit
- different from your soul. Spirit is masculine energy,
while soul is feminine energy. Together they form a
whole.
It's a constant dance - a continuous movement - between
your soul and your spirit. The problem is, way too many
people have experienced a crushing of their spirit...
through shame and pain and childhood issues we won't get
into here.
One of the byproducts of a crushed spirit is a feeling -
sometimes a strong one - that you're not enough and/or
not good enough. Sometimes it becomes a deep-seated
belief. Or a series of beliefs. It becomes like a bottom
line. It lies in the foundation of your existence. It
hides in your unspoken assumptions.
As we reach and stretch and grow, and seek to become
more, we brush up against the thoughts and feelings and
beliefs that we're not enough. It limits our growth. It
dictates our life and lifestyle.
It's a barrier few can overcome. Most vow to not brush
up against those feelings; and live their life
accordingly.
"Am I Enough?"
It's a trick question because if I even ask myself, I've
already lost. It's never a valid question. And yet, I
put it on my negotiating table and kept it there for
years.
I was so determined to find a way to become enough. So I
negotiated with myself for years - begging, pleading,
threatening, bargaining, ANYthing - to get myself to
somehow do something so I would be enough.
Never happened. I was never able to do anything to truly
feel I was enough. And that's the first clue.
You can't do anything to become good enough.
There is nothing to do. I sometimes thought that
if I simply walked out (stormed out, really) of the
negotiating room, that would somehow help. Nope. The
only solution I found was to simply take the issue
off the negotiating table.
There's a big difference between leaving the room (which
is basically hiding and avoiding the issue) VS. taking
the entire question off the negotiating table (which
requires power and strength).
To know you're enough takes power and strength and
responsibility.
Sounds difficult, but it's not.
Start by consciously
feeling your feelings. Honestly. Cleanly. Even the
so-called 'bad' ones. Get real with your feelings.
(Besides, by feeling all of them, you end up
feeling what you want. Amazing!)
Second, start taking back your power from the world.
"Do you know what they just did to me?! Well, blah,
blah, blah...."
Righteous indignation is a state of powerlessness. So is
avoidance, blame, pity and so many other hidden agendas
and payoffs. Manipulation. Control. They all take your
power.
You need your power. It wouldn't hurt to go
around all day long:
"I take my power back from this person, this situation,
this event..."
Usually we go around all day long giving our power away
- to our fears, to our depression, to our guilt, our
anger, to our bosses and spouses and friends and enemies
and acquaintances... to the TV and the news reports...
to anything and everything.
"Will you take my power? I don't want it... too much
responsibility..."
"If I give you my freedom, will you make me safe?"
But as you take your power back, you will become more
powerful. Eventually you'll be able to lift the whole
question of 'enough-ness' off the negotiating table and
throw it in the trash can where it belongs.
courtesy:Mark Ivar Myhre
forgive-yourself.com
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create-reality.com
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