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Newsletter for April 2012
Why have you been so successful in reaching some of your goals, but
not others? If you aren't sure, you are far from alone in your
confusion. It turns out that even brilliant, highly accomplished
people are pretty lousy when it comes to understanding why they
succeed or fail. The intuitive answer — that you are born
predisposed to certain talents and lacking in others — is really
just one small piece of the puzzle. In fact, decades of research
on achievement suggests that successful peoplereach their goals not
simply because of who they are, but more often because of what they do.
1. Get
specific. When
you set yourself a goal, try to be as specific as possible.
"Lose 5 pounds" is a better goal than "lose some weight,"
because it gives you a clear idea of what success looks like.
Knowing exactly what you want to achieve keeps you motivated
until you get there. Also, think about the specific actions that
need to be taken to reach your goal. Just promising you'll "eat
less" or "sleep more" is too vague — be clear and precise. "I'll
be in bed by 10pm on weeknights" leaves no room for doubt about
what you need to do, and whether or not you've actually done it.
2. Seize the
moment to act on your goals. Given
how busy most of us are, and how many goals we are juggling at
once, it's not surprising that we routinely miss opportunities
to act on a goal because we simply fail to notice them. Did you
really have no time to work out today? No chance at any point to
return that phone call? Achieving your goal means grabbing hold
of these opportunities before they slip through your fingers.
To seize the moment, decide when and where you will take each action you want to take,
in advance. Again, be as specific as possible (e.g., "If it's
Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, I'll work out for 30 minutes
before work.") Studies show that this kind of planning will help
your brain to detect and seize the opportunity when it arises,
increasing your chances of success by roughly 300%.
3. Know exactly how far you have left
to go. Achieving any goal also requires honest and regular monitoring of
your progress — if not by others, then by you yourself. If you
don't know how well you are doing, you can't adjust your
behavior or your strategies accordingly. Check your progress
frequently — weekly, or even daily, depending on the goal.
4. Be a realistic
optimist. When you are setting a goal, by all means engage in lots of
positive thinking about how likely you are to achieve it.
Believing in your ability to succeed is enormously helpful for
creating and sustaining your motivation. But whatever you do,
don't underestimate how difficult it will be to reach your goal.
Most goals worth achieving require time, planning, effort, and
persistence. Studies show that thinking things will come to you
easily and effortlessly leaves you ill-prepared for the journey
ahead, and significantly increases the odds of failure.
5. Focus on
getting better, rather than being good. Believing
you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is
believing you can get the
ability. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our
personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no
matter what we do, we won't improve. As a result, we focus on
goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than
developing and acquiring new skills.
Fortunately, decades of research suggest that the belief in fixed
ability is completely wrong — abilities of all kinds are
profoundly malleable. Embracing the fact that you can change
will allow you to make better choices, and reach your fullest
potential. People whose goals are about getting better, rather
than being good, take difficulty in stride, and appreciate the
journey as much as the destination.
6. Have grit. Grit is a willingness to commit to long-term goals, and to persist
in the face of difficulty. Studies show that gritty people
obtain more education in their lifetime, and earn higher college
GPAs. Grit predicts which cadets will stick out their first
grueling year at West Point. In fact, grit even predicts which
round contestants will make it to at the Scripps National
Spelling Bee.
The good news is, if you aren't particularly gritty now, there is
something you can do about it. People who lack grit more often
than not believe that they just don't have the innate abilities
successful people have. If that describes your own thinking ....
well, there's no way to put this nicely: you are wrong. As I
mentioned earlier, effort, planning, persistence, and good
strategies are what it really takes to succeed. Embracing this
knowledge will not only help you see yourself and your goals
more accurately, but also do wonders for your grit.
7. Build your willpower muscle. Your self-control "muscle" is just like the other muscles in your
body — when it doesn't get much exercise, it becomes weaker over
time. But when you give it regular workouts by putting it to
good use, it will grow stronger and stronger, and better able to
help you successfully reach your goals.
To build willpower, take on a challenge that requires you to do
something you'd honestly rather not do. Give up high-fat snacks,
do 100 sit-ups a day, stand up straight when you catch yourself
slouching, try to learn a new skill. When you find yourself
wanting to give in, give up, or just not bother — don't. Start
with just one activity, and make a plan for how you will deal
with troubles when they occur ("If I have a craving for a snack,
I will eat one piece of fresh or three pieces of dried fruit.")
It will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier, and
that's the whole point. As your strength grows, you can take on
more challenges and step-up your self-control workout.
8. Don't tempt fate. No matter how strong your willpower muscle becomes, it's important
to always respect the fact that it is limited, and if you
overtax it you will temporarily run out of steam. Don't try to
take on two challenging tasks at once, if you can help it (like
quitting smoking and dieting at the same time). And don't put
yourself in harm's way — many people are overly-confident in
their ability to resist temptation, and as a result they put
themselves in situations where temptations abound. Successful
people know not to make reaching a goal harder than it already
is.
9. Focus on what you will do, not
what you won't do. Do you want to successfully lose weight, quit smoking, or put a lid
on your bad temper? Then plan how you will replace bad habits
with good ones, rather than focusing only on the bad habits
themselves. Research on thought suppression (e.g., "Don't think
about white bears!") has shown that trying to avoid a thought
makes it even more active in your mind. The same holds true when
it comes to behavior — by trying not to engage in a bad habit,
our habits get strengthened rather than broken.
If you want to change your ways, ask yourself, What will I do
instead? For example, if you are trying to gain control of your
temper and stop flying off the handle, you might make a plan
like "If I am starting to feel angry, then I will take three
deep breaths to calm down." By using deep breathing as a
replacement for giving in to your anger, your bad habit will get
worn away over time until it disappears completely.
It is my hope that, after reading about the nine things successful
people do differently, you have gained some insight into all the
things you have been doing right all along. Even more important,
I hope are able to identify the mistakes that have derailed you,
and use that knowledge to your advantage from now on. Remember,
you don't need to become a different person to become a more
successful one. It's never what you are, but what you do.
Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D. is a
motivational psychologist, and author of the new book Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals (Hudson Street Press, 2011). She is also an expert blogger on
motivation and leadership for Fast Company and Psychology Today.
Her personal blog, The Science of Success, can be found at www.heidigranthalvorson.com.
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