Al-Huda
Foundation, NJ U. S. A
the Message Continues ... 10/190
Newsletter for September 2017
Article 1 - Article 2 - Article 3 - Article 4 - Article 5 - Article 6 - Article 7 - Article 8 - Article 9 - Article 10 - Article 11 - Article 12
Aims of Marriage
Living
together has become very common
in the modern age. Young men and
women believe that marriage is
an unnecessary burden, and that
fulfillment of desires can be
achieved through a relationship
outside of marriage. What they
overlook is that marriage is not
only for the purpose of sexual
fulfillment. It is an agreement
before God to be a partner to
another, to be a close friend
and comforter. It is a covenant
that should last for life. The
responsibility of the covenant
makes it a serious issue, not
one that can be dismissed when
desire wanes. The value of
marriage lies in the various
ways in which it enhances human
life. Through marriage, the man
and woman acquire many benefits.
Some of them are: 1. A
source of love and companionship -
All human beings need to feel
loved, to feel connected with
others. To live alone, even if
surrounded by material
pleasures, is a melancholy
prospect. We need to feel that
there is someone there for us,
to share our joys and sorrows
and to be a companion whose love
and support we can depend on. The best
person to satisfy this need is a
spouse. All other friendships
and connections are limited, and
cannot be compared to the love
between a husband and wife. They
are together for life, and the
two of them form one entity - a
couple. They have a common goal,
and need each other more than
anybody else. The comfort
and happiness through marriage
is so important that Allah
describes it as one of His great
signs. He says in the Holy
Qur'an:
And from among His signs is that
He created mates for you from
among yourselves, that you may
find rest in them, and He placed
between you love and compassion.
Most surely there are signs in
this for those who reflect.
(30:21) Note that
this verse mentions love and
comfort (that you may find rest
in them) as the biggest benefits
of marriage. Although there are
other benefits also, the most
valuable advantage of marriage
according to Islam is the
happiness and peace it gives the
couple. 2. Fulfilling
desires legally -
Allah has placed the instinct of
physical desire in the human
being. When this is not
fulfilled in the correct manner,
human beings can deviate into
sin and perverted behavior.
Marriage allows the couple to
fulfill their desires as
prescribed by Allah. It results
in the preserving of one's
religion and morals, hence
married people achieve a higher
status with Allah. The following
Ahadith have been narrated from
Holy Prophet (s) on this matter: Islam
discourages celibacy. A woman
once came to the Holy Prophet
(s) and told him that her
husband stayed away from her and
spent his nights in worship. The
Prophet (s) talked to the
man and explained how he, being
a messenger of God, did not
avoid his wives. Islam
encourages the fulfilling of the
natural urges in human beings.
It is a very practical religion
and has rules and guide lines
for all aspects of human life.
When a human being caters to all
his needs, physical and
spiritual, he can lead a
balanced and happy life. The quest
for spirituality necessitates
the acquiring of an appropriate
partner. In Islam the husband
and wife help one another to
acquire nearness to Allah. When
both the husband and wife are
God conscious, they encourage
each other to do good deeds.
They remind each other to do
good and stay away from evil.
Thus we see that when talking
about the importance of Salatul
Layl, a hadith says: May Allah
have mercy on the man who wakes
up for Salatul Layl and wakes up
his wife for it, and if she
refuses [to wake up], splashes
water on her face. And may Allah
have mercy on the woman who
wakes up for Salatul Layl and
recites it, and wakes up her
husband, and if he refuses,
splashes water on his face. This
is just one example of how the
spouses lead each other forward
in gaining the pleasure of
Allah. Everyone needs to be
reminded from time to time, and
steered back to the right path.
Who better to do that than a
virtuous spouse? It is no wonder
that the Prophet (s) once said:
The greatest good for a
believing man is a virtuous
wife. 3. Establishing
a family One
of the greatest fruits of
marriage is the birth of
children and establishment of a
family. This is in continuation
of the aim of the Almighty, to
produce human beings who will
worship Him on this earth.
Giving birth, and raising good
virtuous children is an act of
worship. It brings happiness in
this world, for children are a
source of immense joy and
satisfaction. It also brings
reward in the Hereafter. The
Prophet (s) has said: 1. Marry,
and increase (your numbers
through children), for surely I
will take pride in you over the
other nations on the Day of
Judgement, even over a child who
was miscarried. The couple
also progresses and matures
through parenthood. The
experience of raising a family
is a great teacher. Martyr
Mutahhari discusses this in his
book Education and Training in
Islam: 4. Maturing
of personality -
When a single person enters into
marriage and establishes a
family, the personality
progresses and matures. The
commitment brings responsibility
and brings forth many new
talents and capabilities.
Ayatullah Mutahhari says about
this in the book mentioned
above:
After marriage, the personality
of a man changes into a social
personality and he considers
himself absolutely responsible
for the security of his wife and
children's future. On this
account he uses the sum total of
his senses, initiatives, and
abilities. . . Marriage is the
first and preliminary phase of
exit from the (shell) of
personal self, and the expansion
of the human personality. . .
there is a maturity, a maturity
which does not take shape except
in the shade of marriage and
raising of family. It does not
get shape in school, neither
does it get formed in the
crusade against the ego. Manners and
habits of a person change after
marriage. The husband and wife
learn to be more considerate,
more gracious and unselfish.
Rather than thinking only of
personal gratification, they
begin to think of others, even
sacrificing their own pleasures.
The changes and
possible difficulties they
encounter help to strengthen and
mature their personalities. This does
not mean that a single person is
not mature. The rich experiences
of the married, however, are
undoubtedly assets in the
building of character. Marriage at
its best, can be a very powerful
ladder in the reach for
perfection. The promise of
a good marriage has been
described as synergetic - the
action of the whole accomplishes
more than the partners could
separately. The satisfaction of
relating positively, sexual
fulfillment, and the happiness
which come from having a secure
and stable home, all play a role
in energizing the human spirit.
The couple moves forward with
purpose and can achieve a great
deal. Marital fulfillment is a
great treasure and should be the
aim of all the young men and
women entering into marriage.
Time and efforts should be spent
to achieve it. Get
married for the Messenger of
Allah often said; Whoever wishes
to follow my Sunnah (way of
life) should marry, for marriage
is from my Sunnah.
Getting married is easy. Staying
married is more difficult.
Staying happily married for a
lifetime should rank among the
fine arts. platinum. |
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